Americans and (dog) citizenship diplomacy
By Atim Nkese NkpubreA few weeks back, George W. Bush, former President of the United States of America from 2001 -2009 and his wife, Laura, released an emotional statement to announce the demise of their famous 12 year-old dog, Barney, who had lost the battle to lymphatic cancer. Poor thing!
“Barney was by my side during our eight years in the White House,” (lucky dog!) Bush said, “he never discussed politics,” (as if dogs discuss politics in the first place), “and was always a faithful friend. Laura and I will miss our pal.” Very true, I feel you, Sir.
A very courteous and well groomed specie, “Barney politely greeted Heads of State, Queens and Prime Ministers, but guarded the south lawn entrance of the White House as if he were a secret service agent.” Bush added.The outpouring of grief over the loss of their beloved black Scottish terrier by the former President and his family is understandable, especially in political circles where there are neither permanent friends nor foes but only permanent interests. Navigating the murky waters of politics, even in civilised climes, can be a daunting task as everyone seems to have his/her own agenda. The intrigues, the subtle manoeuvres and conspiracy theories involved in political stratagem tend to make politics a game for the strong-minded. A common saying in America is that, “if you want a friend in Washington, you should get a dog.” President Bush did and brought one with him from Texas.
Barney was said to be a mainstay in the presidential palace and dutifully gave a good account of his stewardship during his eight year residency in the White House. The dog’s joys must have known no bounds, perhaps, when the erstwhile President brought in Miss Beazley, another Scottish Terrier breed, as a birthday present for his First Lady, Laura. The bond of friendship that existed between the two would tend to suggest that even dogs of the same breed hobnob together! The Bush family was known to be very passionate about Barney and often dressed the dog up for holidays.
Born on September 30, 2000 in New Jersey, Barney Bush lived an eventful and ‘fulfilled’ life, the type that very few dogs get to experience in their lifetime. As a member of the privileged family, Barney even shared the Bush surname as a mark of honour. The dog was originally owned by former Environmental Protection Agency Director, Todd Whitman.
A fixture throughout the Presidential grounds during Bush 2001-2009 term, Barney had starred in ‘Barney Cam’ holiday special and had become an internet sensation in 2002 when a tiny video camera on his collar offered viewers a dog-level or dog’s-eye view holiday tour of the White House- shuffling from room to room and even menacing the Bush’s Christmas tree. The video was said to have recorded 24 million online tourists in the first day of release! A feat that very few dogs can pull off.
Not surprisingly, therefore, many have paid glowing tributes to the ex-First Dog since the death and burial announcements were made public. At the last count, hundreds of thousands of people had offered their condolences via Facebook and other social media platforms, over the passing on of the ex-President’s “faithful friend.” A ‘befitting’ burial was held at the former president’s ranch in Central Texas, where Bush says Barney “a fierce armadillo hunter” loved to accompany him fishing for birds.
The other day, a police officer, Kyle Jones of La Porte, Texas, (Texas again, there must be something about Texans and dogs), reportedly shut down a highway, causing a traffic snarl on a rainy morning just to help a small dog find its way home! Cujo, a rat terrier, was said to have escaped the home of its owners and had wandered over to a nearby highway. Fortunately, Officer Jones saw the small dog, stopped his car (and traffic) and generally went the extra mile to make sure the dog got home safely. Jones later handed lucky Cujo over to an animal control officer who reunited the dog with its owners.
The grateful owner, Jeremy Zepalac, before sending a warm thank-you email to the kind officer, promptly attended to their “four-legged son”, treating it to a warm bath and administering its arthritis medication, thereafter, and had the dog resting in bed all day in order to recover from the trauma.
Did you get Cujo’s family name? A rat terrier, and if I may ask, why do dogs always have such exotic and sometimes, downright scary nomenclature? If you are in doubt, please take a look at the family names on this list: German Shepherd, Miniature Schnauzer, Rottweiler, Doberman Pinscher, Basset Hound, Boxer, Chihuahua, Dalmattian, Alsatian, Rat Terrier, Skye Terrier, Shi Tzu (Lion dog), Maltese, Beagle, and Pekingese. Those creatures are terrifying enough by themselves, which explains why the notorious “beware of dogs” signs are commonplace in most neighbourhoods. Dogs would gladly get by without the complication of a tongue twister name. The given names are another issue altogether. My colleague once owned a dog he nicknamed “Captain.” Captain,
Indeed.For a split second, I want you to stop and imagine a conversation between two friends that goes like this: Awele: “Oh Susan, you’ve got a cute dog there. It’s so gorgeous. What’s the breed?” Susan: “Really? It’s a Doberman Pinscher, thanks, anyway, and I also got a Miniature Schnauzer for my kids, by the way.... It’s one silly habit that I picked up while living in the Island of Seychelles!” Hmm... Who would have thought that one would come away from an exotic Island of Sychelles’s reputation with, wait for it, doggy thoughts, of all things?
Seriously, I’m thinking of getting an exotic dog breed one of these days, something dramatic, urbane and full of hot swagger. A trophy dog, if you like (you know nah...). I’m still ideating for now and you’d be the first to know when my mind is finally made up. But, rest assured that my new dog won’t look anything like the plain old Bingo that we had way back in Oron. Who wants a jaded Bingo in this day and age, anyway?
Ehen, as I was saying, I’d like the name of my new dog to sound like: Titanic Spaniel, Pekingese or better still Basset Hound, if only to annoy my friends when they visit and perhaps, also impress my new neighbours when we hit the pavement for a leisurely evening stroll! Jokes apart, I honestly think that some of the names are meant to punish their owners.
Please pardon the digression and let’s get back to the dog diplomacy gist. I am amazed at the sheer amount of energy and attention that people tend to devote to their pets. I have tried to compare the scenario to some of the things that have happened in my country in recent times. Apart from an embarrassingly poor record of births and deaths of its citizens, I recalled the Ugwuoba incident where over 50 lifeless bodies were dumped into Ezu river, Ugwuoba, Enugu State, a boundary town to Amansea. Ezu river, by the way, serves as a source of drinking water for both communities. This heinous crime was committed in a most callous manner, without any form of identification of the victims and without a dirge. We are told that the Ezu deity would revenge the act within 90 days if perpetrators refuse to confess. No wonder, some would rather become ‘dogs’ in America than live as humans in my country!
On a lighter note, I think the Americans have an affinity with some Calabar people who tend to hold their dogs in high esteem, for varied purposes, actually. Whilst an American would go to any length to ensure the safety of his dog, some Calabar men would give their beloved pet a similar royal treatment but in the knowledge that the same dog could someday serve as a sumptuous delicacy for his taste buds. It’s a case of different strokes for different folks. We seem to have quite a reputation with dogs and a greater fascination for unam ebua, I tell you.
But seriously, a dog can turn out a great companion if well looked after. Barney was actually the continuation of a Bush family tradition of Presidential dogs begun by Millie, the Springer Spaniel brought to the White House by President George H.W. Bush and his first lady, Barbara Bush.
The Obamas have kept up the tradition, featuring their dog, Bo, in White House holiday-themed shorts.
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